Overcoming Approach Anxiety

As we mentioned in Approaching Women made Simple, some men are terrified to approach women. Hey, I’m scared at times, and other times seem to have fearless courage. This is an enormous improvement over the previously shy me!

Being social is like a muscle. The more you are social, the easier and more natural it becomes. And the more you do it and the more success you have, the more confident you become, and women find confidence very attractive.
I’ve got three things to say here that will be of extreme value to most of you.

The Three Second Rule:

First, the 3 second rule. When you see a woman you want to talk to, do it immediately, before the logical part of your brain can come up with reasons not to. «She must have a boyfriend,» «I’m not dressed well today and she is,» «I ate garlic for lunch» and other nonsense will form in your brain if you hesitate. Josh Pellicer likes 1-2 seconds, 3 seconds max.
Now if you are super shy, you will need to work up to approaching most women within 3 seconds if at all. I just wasn’t going to do it 2 years, but I built up to it.

Exercise your Social Muscle:

Second, I want you to become more social, by which I mean talk to fucking everybody! Maybe you can’t approach the hot 20 year old in the miniskirt in the store, but you probably can approach the middle aged store clerk and ask her if she thinks the green shirt or the brown shirt you are holding looks better for you. Chat with the dude at the convenience store. Talk to everyone, including hot chicks, although you may need to work up to that if you are as shy as I was.

Start Slowly and Build Up

Third, building up to the hot chicks part. You will never get a hot girlfriend if you do not talk to women.
Start slow and make steady and mostly comfortable progress.

You are going to stretch your comfort zone little by little. I do not suggest going to a popular club and hitting on 9s and 10s in an attempt to overcome approach anxiety (although it can work!). It’s like working out in the gym or learning to play the piano – making progress involves pushing the limits little by little.

Start with mostly hot and warm approaches, but throw in some totally cold (and easy easy easy) approaches.
First the cold approaches, women you have zero connection to. Why don’t you go for a walk today, and say hi to 10 cute women. Don’t stop, don’t wait for a reply if any, don’t worry if they have ear buds on, and can’t hear you. Just say «hello» or «hi» or «howdy» and smile. This is sooo easy! Isn’t that an easy start? Hey, anyone can do that.

Hot and warm approaches and where there is some connection already. Concentrate here mostly in the beginning if you are shy.
Here is an example of a hot approach. There is a women, she was a definite 10 when younger and still quite hot, that I’ve had a crush on her for decades. We know each other, but it’s more acquaintances than friends for sure. I saw her at a recent neighborhood barbeque after not seeing her for a few years.

I employed the 3 second rule. I immediately walked up to her and said hi and asked how she was. It didn’t matter what I said as long as I said something. 2 years ago I would have waited and maybe never spoken to her.

An example of a warm approach would be at a small to medium sized party where there is a woman you find attractive. Perfectly reasonable to talk to her isn’t it? Get the host to introduce you if you must.
I’ll admit I learned the most about approaching women from Carlos.

Overcoming  approach anxiety is possible for anyone. Regardless of how shy you may be you can become less shy at the very least. Talk to everyone to exercise your social muscle. And build up your approach skills slowly and easily.
How to overcome approach anxiety? Slowly, with easy and simple steps.
Before long, you will be that guy talking to hot women commonly, far more often and easily that you ever thought imaginable. Hey, I did it, I still consider myself shy and I’m definitely an introvert, but I’ve left the old me far far behind!