It is rare that two people meet for the first time, start ripping each others’ clothes off and immediately have sex. Seduction, the art of getting someone to have sex with you, is something you need to understand.
Here are the basics you should know. Just these basics will put you way ahead of 90% of other men!
Seduction doesn’t start (or end) in the bedroom
Seduction doesn’t start or end in the bedroom, or wherever you may end up alone. It starts with your first interactions and continues on after sex. You need to be fun, quickly and repeatedly break the touch barrier, and flirt. Flirting communicates sexuality without being overtly sexual. It conveys you are a fun guy, and all women want to have fun.
And you are also a fun and considerate guy after the act, continuing the seduction, letting her feel good about what happened, and making it much more likely to happen again.
It’s a man’s job
A woman might seduce you, but far more often it is your job as a man to seduce her. Most women expect men to try and often want them too.
I’ve met women who didn’t even appear interested, but after sex remarked that they thought I’d never get to it. You are supposed to seduce them, and if you don’t, they might even be upset or disappointed with you for not trying!
A woman needs to feel safe and comfortable
A women needs to feel safe and be comfortable to consider sex. This means you’ve built rapport with her so she likes and trusts you. Being a classic gentleman; opening doors and the like, can add a lot here, as can being confident. Confidence is not only attractive to women but conveys safety and comfort.
She also has to feel safe and comfortable with the location. For example very few women will have sex in a public bathroom or when they think their roommate or mother might suddenly come barging in!
Some classics where she will feel safe and comfortable include dinner or watching a movie at one of your places.
Seduction is not linear
As a man, when you see a woman you are aroused by, you can happily take off your clothes and be in her in minutes. Women however do not proceed to sex linearly, meaning in a straight line. Here is an example.
A woman came over for dinner to my place for the first time. We were just getting to know each other after a couple of short previous dates.
I immediately gave her a hug, invited her in, and started making drinks. We bumped gently and sensuously a couple times while making drinks, and I kissed her. While having our drinks and talking, I gently touched her several times briefly on the shoulder and arm.
Women’s feet always seem to hurt and I mentioned I had learned a new foot massage technique. I actually saw it on YouTube! I massaged her feet for 10 minutes and worked up her legs, stopping a bit short of her pussy. I excused myself and brought in some appetizers. We kissed for a few minutes.
Are you getting the idea? Back and forth. Start and stop. Yes, we eventually got hot and heavy and to sex that evening.
Women move slower than men
Women expect more touching, kissing, and generally foreplay before they become aroused. You might get a hardon in 10 seconds, but it’s more likely to take them 10 or 20 minutes of touching and kissing for them to be truly aroused, and that is after you start getting intense.
Continuing the story above, once we started passionately kissing and feeling each other, it was a good 15 minutes (I didn’t actually time it!) until she was very aroused and started humping me first, and our clothes started to come off.
Of course always remember that «No» means No. It however does not necessarily mean never. But it does mean no.
My last longer term girlfriend said no three times. I knew she wanted sex, but she said «no» and meant it. Maybe it was for societal reasons or because she didn’t want to feel slutty or whatever, it simply doesn’t matter: No means no.
The fourth time her clothes quickly came off and she was up for anything!